Understanding Victor

I came to the realization that I am becoming multi-lingual. I speak and read English, of course, as well as a smattering of French. I picked up the ability to read Middle English in university, along with a bit of Latin and other languages. Like all good nerds, of course, I have a passing familiarity with Klingon. However, over the past couple of years, I have learned to speak Victorese.

Victor, like most on the ASD spectrum, struggles with communication. We work daily toward improving his ability to interact with the world. Once you immerse yourself in Victor, though, such as sharing a home with him, you realize that he can be quite adept at getting his meaning across.

Whether it’s “chocolate fudge”, which means he would like a fudgesicle, or “potatoes corn and meat”, which means he would like some shepherd’s pie, he has terms for many things. Funny how many involve food. Often, he uses rote responses to different situations, such as “good morning sunshine” as he staggers out of his room in the morning, or his ritual of saying good night, he is comforted by repetition and familiarity. These fairly easily understood terms, however, are far from the limit of his ability to make himself understood.

Vic has specific sounds for many situations. From his “Aye-aye-aye” to express displeasure to his characteristic bark/growl when asked to do something he does not want to do, he can let those who know him understand his feelings very clearly through his tone of voice. Often, he amuses himself with sounds, chanting, or repetition, but this is for his own comfort. His communication is much more direct and specific.

“Do not bite my hands” means behave and be good. “Stop please” means you have told him something he does not want to hear, such as we are not going in the car right now. “Turn up music please” can refer to anything from the car stereo to the TV, depending on the situation. “Bug please” means there is an insect in desperate need of killing, generally followed by interment in the toilet. At least he has learned to use please. Similarly, “poop in the toilet” means one of the pets has left us a treasure.

Ever need a laugh? Tell Vic that something is private. He will list – at the top of his voice, regardless of where he is – all of the things he has learned in life skills classes which are supposed to be private. I have known his to start shouting “vagina” and “penis” in a crowded public space.

In nearly three years in his life, I have never known Vic to cry because he is sad, or sick, or injured. Those things have different responses. No, crying means he has listened to one of his “crying songs”, songs which he specifically seeks to make himself cry. Are they particularly sad songs? Only to Vic. Why does he do this? Ask him, I dare you.

Getting to know Vic has been rewarding in many ways. I doubt I – or anyone – will ever know exactly what is going on in that mind of his, but learning to understand his language of sounds, gestures, and words has been a fun experience. Looking forward to many more years.